Gift Money Much Wedding
Tue, 02 Feb 2010 23:08:55 +0000
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I actually just had this discussion the other day with some friends as I will be getting married this May. Some of us had said that a standard $50 will do for weddings you go to for a not as close friends or a not as close family member or co worker. Then $100 for a close friend, family member or so on.
We also were discussing about giving a certain amount in order to cover their cost of your dinner. I disagree with this though. If someone wants to host a lavish wedding and spend $150 per person, then so be it, but please do not expect guests to spend that much on a gift simply because you had to spend that much on their piece of chicken and glass of wine.
Comment by Getting Married Soon — January 20th, 2010 @ 12:45 pm
I think $200 per couple is the norm. I always give $100 if I am going alone and $200 if I am with guest. However, it really depends on where you live. If I was to go to a wedding downstate or in NJ, it would be even more.
Comment by AM — January 20th, 2010 @ 1:08 pm
I give $100 as a couple.
Comment by Kimberly — January 20th, 2010 @ 1:48 pm
You cannot give any less than $100 when you attend someone’s wedding. The cost of the wedding for the bride and groom can add up very quickly even if you aren’t having a “lavish wedding” with a piece of chicken and a glass of wine. I usually give around $150 – $200 depending on my relationship with the bride and/or groom.
Comment by Mike9647 — January 20th, 2010 @ 2:25 pm
I agree that your gift should not depend on how much it cost the couple. We had about 100 guests at our wedding and I would say the average gift we received was between $100 and $150 (closer family and friends gave more). For weddings we’ve attended we give at $100 (generally if one of us was in the wedding)or more depending on how close we are to the couple.
Comment by Married in 2007 — January 20th, 2010 @ 3:03 pm
Sorry Mike9647 but if one is looking for the guests to finance the wedding than perhaps less lavish party is in order. What is so wrong with a modest wedding and inviting people because they are close friends and family with whom you’d like to share your special day? Having expectations about gift and inviting people just to get gifts is just plain tacky.
Comment by Danielle — January 20th, 2010 @ 3:13 pm
$200 a couple is bare minimum.
Comment by Esquire45 — January 20th, 2010 @ 4:14 pm
100 bucks
Comment by Tom Brophy — January 20th, 2010 @ 4:25 pm
I understand there are significant financial restraints, especially at my age where it seems I have a wedding every other day! If you want to spend less because:
1) you don’t know the couple well, then purchase off the registry
2) you have budget constraints, but know the couple well, either purchase off the registry, or buy something you think they will enjoy.
HOWEVER, if you do chose to give money, and are attending with a guest, I would advise giving no less than $100.
Comment by frequent wedding guest — January 20th, 2010 @ 4:34 pm
I was shocked when I moved here from Virginia and was told you should pay what the dinner costs. I agree with Emily Post, let your budget and affection for the couple be the driving factor. I usually give $150-200 when my husband and I attend and more to family members. Another factor is how far I have to go to the wedding and what travel expenses I incur (like airfare, hotels, rental cars etc.)
Comment by Judy — January 20th, 2010 @ 6:33 pm
I’m getting married this July and had many weddings this past weekend. We always gave cash. We are relatively young so anything more than $100 would break us. So we give $100.
Cost of our wedding which is not lavish at all is going to be $50 per person at least. That is the cheapest i found anywhere other than having it at the VFW halls and catering it yourself.
Comment by Wedding date 7/3/10 — January 20th, 2010 @ 7:12 pm
Wow….I hope my daughter’s friends and family are seeing this! She could sure use the money! LOL….but I find it odd that people would find the need to “cover” their plate….after all..WE (her mom and dad) are paying for it so how is it covering something SHE isn’t paying for?????
Comment by Mother of the Bride — January 20th, 2010 @ 7:45 pm
I give at least $200, usually more. Of course I really have only go to weddings of close friends and I know how important it is for the newlyweds to have a little cushion.
Comment by Eric — January 20th, 2010 @ 7:56 pm
When it comes to weddings, otherwise sensible people lose their sense of propriety and have weddings that are pretentious and far more than their financial means should dictate. It is absurd to get into a fiancial bind, as many do, for a wedding. And it is absurd to try to emulate a wedding whose details the aspirants do not know. Lack of knowledge of formal affairs shows when there are tuxedos worn for morning or afternoon weddings, for example. The list of gaucheries goes on and on.
Everyone who plans a wedding should see the movie entitled “The Catered Affair”.
Comment by All For Common Sense — January 20th, 2010 @ 8:09 pm
I say give something that will last as long as most marriages. Ice cream
Comment by DD — January 20th, 2010 @ 8:59 pm
$150 if cash is tight on my end, average I give is $200, if I am in the wedding party of great friends/family $250.
Comment by Yup — January 20th, 2010 @ 9:41 pm
I usually give the bride and groom a check for $200. If they are registered at a store or stores, then I’ll go that route instead.
Comment by Francine — January 21st, 2010 @ 9:09 am